Text Message Hall of Fame #4
These are random text messages that I have sent or received, intentionally left anonymous to protect the guilty:
Note to self. Do not reserve your name at a restaurant as “Hitler”.
Mmmmm, nothing says hawt like welts on your penis.
I’m told to not be manly right now.
The DJ here reminds me of the cat shit under my bed.
I’m your #1 lezbo? Awesome!
I recommend you defecate immediately
I’m doing a bunch of coke and whores….and being thoughtful.
The vanilla fro-yo at Bali tastes really strong like whiskey.
Dark purple shit with raspberry colored water….awesome.
Time for some hot guy on guy action for drinks.
Neon green pubes.
Gentlemen… it appears the quest is failing. All of the women in SLO have been eaten by wild boars. None survived. We must cope with their demise.
All whale dick, all the time.
People are going apeshit here. I’m in ‘Nam.
Cheers man, one year further from Jesus.
ha! hillarious