Text Message Hall of Fame #3
These are random text messages that I have sent or received, intentionally left anonymous to protect the guilty:
Holy wtf, I just killed a bear
That’s awesome, I just found a cargo ship for sale for $700k
There are two people sitting on my lap.
Search for halo sex or weightlifting on youtube, it’s awesome.
I know ping
You are stronger….and less violent that I. I would kill her while she slept and cut her hands and head off before dumping her in a pit of hungry hogs.
The grass is always green where the frogs have been shitting
Pile o’ lamb is on the kitchen counter.
I just spilled beer on my laptop and the keyboard started working again.
Do you have any lampshades to go with my discoball brightness?
It would be better with guac to smear all over myself, but….
Rub some guac on your nips for me, you SOB
Quick doctor, two liters of beer, stat!
I just saw a Trojan commercian with a guys penis in a windtunnel
I make them do their business in public
What up, dog? (Street lingo for What are you doing, Cracker?)
…house whores for winners, hand jobs for the bad luck crowd.
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