Text Message Hall of Fame #2
These are random text messages that I have sent or received, intentionally left anonymous to protect the guilty:
Jezuz, I shouldn’t be txting in front of a giant vagina.
The guac was good, the people were bad.
Join the Lemon Party —- for freedom.
The yeti penis.
I may or may not have just commited a federal crime.
I think I’m just going to drown myself in the reflecting pool now…
Are you guys gonna make babies and shit??
I kinda want to be Catholic.
You should be muslim.
CCTV is watching
Fe fi fo fum, I smell the blood of someone on their period
I just had a hooker walk toward me on the street with her dress pulled up to her chin…yeah…
I’m watching a murder be filmed.
You may be in for a little sex when you get back Mr.
My nephew is such a homo, OMG, he’s going to eat more weiners than Oscar Meyer
Yeah, well, I’m wearing nothing but manties and I’m completely shaved and tied up in the dark…..it’s been a while
..Beauty is in the brown eye of the beholder.
I like to dip into my intestines.
Mmmm…piss and cigars
Why can’t I steam milk with a vegetable steamer?
No man should ever have to bear witness to his ‘O’ face.
I’m doing drunken sign language.
Like seeing your dead grandmother crawl up your leg with a knife in her teeth
I think I was there when the hooker pulled the dress up to her chin, that was in front of 2Dogs right?
And the grandmother with the knife in her teeth, wasn’t that from the ‘ether’ scene in fear and Loathing?